Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

I feel like most of the male population in Utah fall into one of two categories: Gay or players. I can't fault the gays. I don't believe we choose who we love. I certainly never chose to like men, it just happened. Players, on the other hand, choose what they do. They choose how they act. They should be wiped from the earth. Raise your hand if you agree.

I'm so sick of guys who play around with feelings. Who act like they want to get in a relationship, or act like a boyfriend, and then drop you without a warning. They come around, express how much they like spending time with you and like you. You make plans together. You know that Friday night is date night. They say all the right things and then you see them the next day and they act as if you're a stranger in the grocery line.

That's not okay! Who taught these boys that that was okay? Certainly not Hollywood. In all the movies I've ever seen, the man the girl ends up with is a total gentleman. The men in those movies stand outside your window with a boombox over their head. They bring flowers when they pick you up and compliment your outfit.They listen when you talk, bring you your favorite treats when you're sad, and watch all the girly movies just because they make you happy, and the guy wants to make you happy. I like to think that there are real XY chromosome beings out there like that. Those are the real men. I just don't think they live in Utah.

The Y chromosomes in Utah are little boys. They fear commitment like it's Ebola. They think it's funny to break hearts. I'm pretty sure they have a book full of names. All the girls they've kissed and kicked. That's what I'm calling it. They act the part to win you over and just when you start to believe they could be the one, that they could be different, they kick you to the curb like last night's take out box. They tell you they had a feeling it wasn't going to work out, when the night before they were expressing a TOTALLY different emotion.

I'm all for being honest and not dragging things on if you're positive that you don't feel the same way. Just make sure your actions match your words. A girl can only handle so much whiplash. And seriously don't tell a girl you really like her but don't see it working out! That just means you're afraid of commitment.

For each player the game is slightly different, but there seem to be key pieces to their game. They don't want people to know about you. Forget ever becoming Facebook official. They are Mr. Hyde when you're alone together, and Dr. Jekyll when anyone else is around. Actually going out for date night? Forget it. Date night will consist of movies on the couch where no one will ever know. They're sweet talkers. As girls, we want to believe them. We want to believe they're different. Don't. They're all the same.

So, where have all the good men gone? Are they living under rocks in Antarctica? I see friends getting engaged and married. Where are they finding these good guys? Can the players turn into good guys or were there just not enough of them born? The behavior is clearly learned. People need to teach these little boys that playing with other's feelings isn't nice. Being mean on the playground will never win you any friends.

Meghan Trainor put it perfectly. Take notes little boys.

Little Girl, Big City

It happened. I moved out on my own. I moved to SLC last weekend. A few weeks ago I started looking for a place closer to my job. The two hour daily commute was starting to kill me (along with jumping gas prices and the fear of getting behind the wheel-thank you accident..) I'd checked out a few places on my own, but my mom and I decided to go look together one Saturday. She wanted to make sure I was going to be somewhere safe. I had looked at a place in Sugar House that I really loved, but wanted to check out a few others just to make sure I was in the right place. The first place my mom and I looked at instantly became my favorite and now my home. It's a cute 2 bedroom just down the street from my job. Right now it feels like more room than I actually need, but I'm looking forward to having an office. The price was right around where I wanted to be and the details of it were perfect. The only thing I have to worry about other than rent is electricity. You can't beat that. It was also the same price as the one bedroom I liked in Sugar House, but this one allows me to have my own washer and dryer, which is saving me tons too (or it will once I actually do laundry.)

Even though it is really quiet, I love having a place of my own. I'm really in a decorating mood, which is good and bad. I've never been crafty, but suddenly I want to make a bunch of decor things and decorate the bare walls. I'm not sure how well these ideas I have are going to translate or even if I'll stay in this mood long enough to actually make them, but I want to have things here. I've hung up what I used to have in my room at my parents so my bedroom and office don't look so empty. The living room is a completely different story. I have a vision of how I want it to look. The struggle is now just finding the things to make it look that way and not go broke in the process. That's probably why I only have my bed, dresser, and couch (which almost didn't fit through the doorway to get into my apartment) to count as furniture. 

Part of me wants to post pictures, but right now it still kind of looks like a hotel room, minus the cheap art reproductions. I don't even have those. 

I still don't feel like this place is permanent. I think it's because I'm so used to moving in and out of apartments from school. Thankfully, I don't have to deal with roommates and can keep things the way I like them. That's probably the best part, right after my walk in closet and the five minute drive to work. Maybe I just need more time being here. It hasn't even been a week.

All these adult things are happening and I don't know how I feel. I moved out on my own. I walk at graduation on Saturday. Basically, my young life is over. I have to be a grown up now. Someone stop time!

Learning Things

I've had my job for 3 weeks already and that's weird. More like great, but it's hard to wrap my head around it. I've dreamed about my future job for so long that it is hard to believe it happened. Dreams do come true, kids.

I've learned so much in the last few weeks. I haven't written a ton, but I feel like my writing is getting better. I work with amazing writers! Here are some of the other things I've learned:

1. People believe turn signals are optional. They also believe that dancing between lanes without slowing down is a good idea. It's not.

2. I swear a lot on the freeway. I guess totaling your car will do that to you.

3. 33rd South is ALWAYS going to have some sort of accident.

4. Downtown is home to some very interesting people.

5. If you car dance at stoplights, you are pretty much begging for people to stare at you.

6. IPods are the best thing ever invented.

7. Friday afternoon's are not meant for productivity.

8. Writing internet quizzes are the best assignment ever!

9. Cupcakes make everything better.

10. Going from being one of the oldest at work to the baby of the office is a very strange feeling.

Guess we never stop learning.

Sticking Around

I made it through my first week at WGU. I love it! I knew I would like working in PR, hence why I majored in it, I just didn't expect to like it as much as I do. I'm writing and editing and thinking like I did when I was in school. I've really missed it. I work with great people who have already made me feel so welcome. I honestly don't think I could have made a better decision.

It's weird to think that this is a job I'll actually be staying in for a while. I feel like for the last four years everything has just been temporary. I was in Logan for a few months and then back in Syracuse for a minute. None of the jobs were where I planned to stay. Everything was just temporary. College is supposed to be like that and I'm glad it was. The constant change gave me room to grow. Knowing I'm going to be at WGU for more than just a few months is hard to get my head around, though.

My life is starting to become more permanent. I have a long-term job, I'm looking for my first apartment, my work schedule is pretty stable. I'm actually growing up! I'm ready for things to settle down. I am an old lady after all. We need structure to keep our 10 pm bedtime (which is a necessity since it takes me an hour to get to work.) Maybe this adult thing isn't so bad.

Last Day

Yesterday was my last day at Winegars. Everyone kept asking me if I was sad about it. The truth-not really. The grocery store was a good job. They were great about allowing me to keep my job while I went to school and I worked with some great people. I'm not sad, though. I know that I'm going somewhere better, doing something better. I didn't pay thousands in tuition for nothing and my new job cements that.

I'm excited to start at WGU tomorrow and also a little scared. I think the nerves are good though. There's a quote that I love that says "If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough." A little bit of fear/nerves means that you care. That aside, I'm really excited to dress up. I've shopped so much this week for work clothes. New outfits are the best! I finally have an excuse to wear a dress everyday. That alone is making me love this job already.

I feel completely okay with my decision, which I guess means that this is just another ending of yet another chapter. Here's to writing more.

Here's to New Adventures

I still can't believe it is actually happening. The biggest goal on my "Feeling 22" bucket list has been achieved. I got a job. A full-time, day shifts, PR job! Western Governors University called me yesterday and offered me a position as their PR Coordinator. I start March 3rd.

I feel like I've been waiting forever to hear about this job. I started interviewing about a month ago. I had a phone interview and then was called back for an in-person interview. After that I interviewed with the rest of the PR team. The final step was to complete a writing test, which happened to be a profile piece, exactly like the one's I had written for the hospital. With each step, I felt like I was getting a little closer to my goal. After my first interview, I could picture myself working there, which is always a good sign. I couldn't be happier with the ways things turned out.

When I started this blog I figured it would be mostly about looking for a job, crazy interviews, etc, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen now. I'm totally okay with that. I'm super excited to start working in PR again. My internship at the hospital ended two weeks ago. I was really sad to see it go. I loved interviewing and writing about different people and looking into the hospital's past. When it ended, I wasn't sure when I was going to be able to do PR things again. Thankfully I don't have to wait long!

I'm going to miss Winegars and the people I worked with. We had some fun times. As scary as it is, I'm ready for this new adventure. I feel like I'm supposed to be at WGU. I can't wait to get started!

Decisions, Choices and Opportunities OH MY!

Being a grown up sucks.

My diploma came yesterday. Having it in my hands makes the fact that I am done with college very real. I knew I was done with school. I was ready to be done with school when the semester ended and accepted that I wouldn't be going back anytime soon. Having the diploma here just makes it true. That chapter of my life is completely over.

Now I have to think about being an adult. There are so many decisions and choices that I need to make. Where do I want to work? What do I want to do? Where do I want to live? For a long time I said I wanted to move out of Northern Utah. Vegas and California have been tossed around as possible destinations since they are warmer and have the entertainment industries. Now that the possibility of moving is real, I'm not sure what I want. I know I want to a place of my own, I'm just not sure how far away I want to go. Am I even old enough to take on the world yet?

Another thing that scares me is getting a new job. What if I get there and I really hate it? What if I get a job and I realize that I really don't know how to do what they want? Jobs are not like clothes. You can't return them if you decide you don't like it.

I feel like I have so many decisions I need to make and no idea what to do. Being a grown up is not as exciting as it seemed when I was 12. I'm going back to being two. Someone pass me a sippy cup and a blanket. I think I need a nap.

And So It Begins

I turn 22 tomorrow. I just graduated from college. I don't have a PR job yet. Basically, life as I know it has ended. The last planned chapter of my life has just ended. I'm writing blind now and it's terrifying. I felt like I needed to start a new blog. 104's open door is now a closed door. I don't want to delete it or my other blog because they're kind of like journals. I don't want to lose that part of story. It's time to write a new story though, starting with 22.

The other night I was out with friends and we were talking about our birthdays. One of them mentioned making a list of 22 things she wanted to do while she was 22. I love the idea so I came up with some of my own.

"I'm Feeling 22"

1. Find a full-time PR job

2. Move out!

3. Walk at Graduation

4. Discover new music

5. See Katy Perry in September (buying my tickets on Thursday!)

6. Improve my writing

7. Read "To Kill a Mockingbird" (I didn't in high school)

8. Go to more concerts

9. Go on trips and adventures

10. Love 

11. Laugh

12. Enjoy being 22!

I'm still so young and there are so many things I want to do. Maybe with school out of the way this will be my year? Here's to hoping.